Thursday, November 22, 2007

By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept: Review

-For years, I had fought against my heart, because I was afraid of sadness, suffering, and abandonment. But now I knew that true love was above all that and that it would be better to die than to fail to love.- Pilar, Na margem do rio Piedra eu sentei e chorei


Paulo Coelho’s By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept (originally, Na margem do rio Piedra eu sentei e chorei: 1994) risens up spirits. He was able to elaborate love in such a unique fashion, capitalizing on its dichotomy; a dog versus cat duel of divine and mundane passion for love. Pilar, in her relative innocence conquered the truest essence of the feeling by portraying an array of emotions. Indeed, this humanistic view towards love, which attempted to cross over the spiritual dimension, allows us to put our own encounters, and justify if not fit the brunt we bear in our hearts. The concept of love here transcends the dragging move of love’s well and end’s well genre, as it culminated in a do or die set up, where the subject must seek one, if not himself.

*all time best.

BULOKratic Patronage

In a yet another showcase of unprecendented "pakapalan" blues and blatant display of nepotism, i can now conclude, firsthandly, that bureacratic patronage has really incurred our local governments (LGUs).One such case is seemingly a hard one, at least on my part. I've always been proud of our city, to include our officials in the local government and their programs. However, at one point, I convey my disapointment over the injustice they have done to someone close to me, in conivance with whoever in position and in what ends. Personal interests and prejudices triumph over logic and fairness for so many but one dignified case and post recently vacated by the same person Im pointing the accountability on this. Its a trash and trash in scenario as he assumed a post in the City Council. Judge me for my preconceived bias but I simply cant comprehend the persistence of some individuals in the City Council to favor another applicant, an alien I would say for the post when there are many others who rose in their ranks and served the city for quiet sometime. Circumstances further affirmed my doubts on an ongoing operation for whichever hidden agenda they'd like to achieve.And now Im certain of that. With only a slim difference from a previous evaluation, the duly assigned body recommended the 'alien' for the position. But good enough, there are men who stood by this basic principle of fairness and local resource development and question the status quo as regards the selection process. Alongside, the presence of media personality during Council sessions has intimidated the 'patrons' to finish off their preconceived end. Deadlock is now in effect. I am yet to receive developments on this. In reflection however, I am now intuned into the reality of an existing BULOKracy and other shenanigans in government, even in a city that promotes, primarily Character. I dont know what would transpire next, my only consolation so far is knowing that my father is still holding on to his work. Hello, Mayor!
"The only way for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"

Clueless at 21

It has been several days or weeks ago, I turnedtwenty-one. In our culture, this age entails so much--of responsibility and the mischief of machismo. Fromoutside my circle, twenty-one year old men came tomany as a fully independent person, along with thequalities of being fresh from the academe, potent,viable and bound to conquer the future. While stillfrom other realities, being of this age is nothing butadded burden to being the bread-winner, besides astagnant social life and bounded by family pressures.

Whichever is destined for me, this is how I seethis dichotomy of time. And while others see it as anopportunity, I am threatened by the uncertainty of notfulfilling the expectations of people around me ifever I take either of the options.

This far, I may resemble the former, simplybecause graduation is in my reach, and that I amvibrant and excited to discover the ‘real’ world,whatever it is. Sometimes, I am envious of thosebachelors in the society pages of dailies for theamenities and opportunities of life. On the otherhand, the responsibility that goes with it isrelatively overwhelming and that also pressures me.Unconsciously for some, being of the age doesn’treally make a deal, or worst, it’s a non-sense. Andregardless of values, this I believe depicts somereality.

Before, I’ve been very excited on what it feelslike in this time of our life. But the reality of itremains in the feelings and one’s disposition. It isin the value that you put on things that makes itprecious. Otherwise, it is nothing.

Personal pressures push me to pursue on myendeavors which will told of my future. Along side, isgearing my loved-ones and departing to economicstability. Of course, I don’t want to be called of asuseless and wasted. In the same way and early on, Idon’t want to be accused of being selfish. In fact,engaging in relationship isn’t really on my prioritylist, much more with settling down at an early age. Shallow as it may seem, the perception that Ihave do not reflect that of the many in my age mainlydue to variations in priorities and values. I can onlyclaim and assert that this is how to be twenty-one, asI want to see it. But still, culture tells of thereality of a responsible, mature and wise person thatshould walk along with you.

Then again, my vantage point is where I amstepping now, who I am with and with what I have.While I considered both the successful and responsibletwenty-one men, I can sense that there’s stillsomething up for me out there.

At 21, I am not yet convinced that I’ve reachedthis far. I can’t even claim that I am mature enough.So while successes and responsibilities ahead are upfor the grab, they’re still too ideal. And while thischapter in my life entails more soul-searching, Istill remain clueless.

Helping Helpers

adapted

Maid. Aching. Inday. Boy. Etcetera. Who wouldn’t know them; they’re just our dakilang chimay (we call them timbang (helper) in Ilonggo). We call them in funny names and treat them in many detrimental ways. This is, having in mind the perception that they are lower societal beings; that they are there to serve at our pleasure and our control.
For all we know, treating them with mischief poses an irreconcilable irony about their help to us, notwithstanding the fact that we tagged them as dakila (great). I may not be in bearing to speak on their behalf: first because we also have a helper when we were still infants and secondly, I fear that my intention may be so petty to others. But having witnessed all these years their plight as dignified workers, they deserve our attention and appreciation.
It was about three years ago when I first encountered them. Yes a few of them working in a local restaurant which happened to be where I live as a student. I should know something about them for everyday, I passed by there quarters going into my room; see them in action at the kitchen and most of all, chatting with them from time to time. This leads me to know their ignominious ordeal at work.
Initially, they never had a place in my concern. Not until realizing they too have rights and privileges they deserve. Guilt has bothered me, even up to now, for these mischief are happening in my ‘own’ house, when outside, I consistently take part in campaigns that uphold the interests of various sectors.
Everyday on, I can’t help but simply include them in my prayers. I’m so meek. Nothing actually. But then again, I can’t simply ignore them for they really appeal to my emotions. Who wouldn’t anyway, if they would wake you up with the jingles of kitchen utensils in the early morning; would wait and open the gate for me everytime I left my key; and would give me extra cup of rice and side dishes, like no other customers have availed. Sounds odd right, but underlying these ordeals, degrading circumstances confronts the.
With their kind of work that last from six in the morning through ten in the evening, they suppose to receive a fair salary and an overtime pay. Yet, they get underpaid, even below the minimum daily wage, and worst, they don’t avail of any insurance of any kind (SSS, medicare, etc.) given that they are prone to getting sickness. Besides, I also stand witness to emotional abuses they get that ranges from insults and curses against their person.
Although a few of them has sustained the test of their stint, and stayed as great helpers, many don’t stay long working their. The trend is that they wait until the month ends, get their salary, separation pay actually, and ran from away from that earthly hell. And viewing from their vantage point, I could well imagine what are happening to their comrades in many households and establishments. Some, maybe on a tolerable situation, but some maybe worst. I don’t know exactly, but they are happening, that is I am sure of.
Helpless at that, I’m reminded by public-service programs to run to for help. That maybe a fair choice, but I prefer a more realistic way in addressing this problem, that is, awareness and education. Unless their (helpers) ranks are empowered about their disposition as decent workers and the government would intensify its campaign to implement existing labor laws, all our hopes could not be materialized.
Meanwhile, as the sector of helpers is only a mere minority in our society, it is my hope that everyone would do their part in upholding their plight. It’s about time that we go beyond our comfort zones and pay them back, a pay worthy of their service to us. It’s about time we help our helpers.

DREAMING OF HER

It was a fairly humid night when I settled, after a day’s busy ordeal. I have almost lost my ions, to which, my consciousness has been deferred immediately. Not long before that, my phone rang. ‘Twas an SMS. [Reading]. Sender:Yeisha.I should have shaken my head and convinced my self, it was her. No I’m not dreaming.
Not long ago, when we’ve meet. She’s from another school. A not so ordinary woman (actually lady), sensing her conversationalist tempo- intelligent but not mediocre I believe. Truly amiable, she rode on with my compliments and corny jokes during occasional chats.
A stereotype person at that, pretending to be some kind of a smart and demure gentleman (no, not easy to get either) my initial feelings boiled down to confusion. Can this be love? Or just simply a stimulation? It’s the latter. Who would not anyway?. Yeisha oozes with charm and sweetness my psyche could only describe it alone in no known measure. Standing by just an inch over my height with a define biometrics (almost perfect, except for that herd-milk logic), she’s a model figure.
It’s been in several instances when she exhausted her divine potentials. This time, she’s into competitions. Ironically, it’s called beauty tilt when in fact intelligence and articulation weighs more than talent or personality. In any ways, she managed to drew them all and bag the most coveted crowns.
Along with the joy of enjoinment, I’m pretty sad. She’s moving away. We don’t get to talk frequently as ever. She has to attend public functions and social eklavu. But no, I should keep this. I should stand by what my spirit dictates. Besides, this has been a win-lost (win then lost) situation for me.
Prior to these changes, I have all the time to initiate. Maybe a try. But then courage is not on my side. Although I made futile efforts. How exciting was that which I could only articulate. What is texting her with romantic quotes, sending cards and getting a glance of her “angelic face”which most of the time she would debunk me as “natutulala ka na naman”…Shit, “manhid ka”, I would console my self. On one hand, I’ve been asking my self, “bakit ka ba tameme, pwede namang….” Funny.
I’m not egocentric, but it was a barely a lapse of judgment that I never do it, when I could sense (remotely) that she has already intercepted my intention. Wild sensing would tell me that she has ‘something’ for me. Actually, a friend told me. She knows me, and with that, she kept her modesty. That is X-factor, and I’m bursting. Unfortunately though, I was by passed when I heard not later then that she has someone else. Well fine, what is to worry anyway, there are still many alike around. Enough of this crazy damn stuff. No hows, no whys, just forget, it’s more than to forgive.
I hoped it would come out as expected, but no, ‘twas a complete turn-around. Even though we parted ways literally given the schooling factor, for God sake I couldn’t still set-off my feelings of her. Now, can this be love or lust? Maybe the latter.
Before I left for school, she’s completely a different acquaintance now. She exudes with boldness and her physique is kept in detail and refinement- a must be for treasure hunter.
Acads…acads…acads…………………………acads
For some time, I made to forget in touch with her for obvious reasons. But I kept the faith of having her as a friend (bitter). For now, I try to enjoy the misery inside. How? I got to think of reliving my wants. Why spend off time for such a futile interest? Back to normal. I’ve got to drink and puff for life, and try to be the animalistic that I am.
It’s not for long, when I went back home. This time, a still smart but ragged leftist. Keeping the feelings inside, I can now look at her, eye for an eye, hold her hands like clinging on my sister’s. Once, she would be surprised to see me in an all-guy session and fervently, she would ask, “kelan pa”, and I would respond, “tagal na, dati..pero dahil sayo..”) [adlib].
Surprisingly, she had my number and would text me that we go out, maybe swimming. I wouldn’t reply.
Just recently, another friend updated me of her. She’s into two relationship this year, with a current one. I should know this for I see them in the web blog. How sweet are they, I could only imagine. It’s been sometime since our last conversation. And tonight, for reasons that He could only explain, I’m reading her text. It reads,.. if I would live life in another lifetime, I would like to spend it with you realizing that life wouldn’t be complete without the one you truly love (no quotes).
Cursed be this gadget if this is not meant. Cursed be these technologies that imitate bogus emotions. Cursed be this day-the saddest of days. And cursed be the person who sent this if she plays with deception.
Please, my divine creator let this be true. Let me see love for real, if it is. But as much as I want to leave this fantasy, only could tell. [Saving…]. Keypad locked. Yes, I’m not dreaming.
for:yeisha,6500 Earth.
Disclaimer: Any similarities, either of person's names, setting or circumstances are purely coincidence. This selection is derived from the writer's shallow imagination, and is therefore fictional.

[Could be true either].

My Advocacy

adapted from Edge

It was in our environmental science class last year did I learned of amazing facts and figures of the richness and vastness of Philippine biodiversity, described as a ”mega diversity”. I was really egoistic at first to realize those wonders, but to my dismay, I also came to know the gruesome state of our environment at present.
This dilemma gained me serious amount of concern and interest, though initially it was only a petty reaction, but nonetheless, I’ve already inculcated it in my cerebrum. Besides, there was that inclination and discernment that provoked me to act or impart something as regards to Mother Nature.
The succeeding months in the university were as conducive of information for me as I started attending seminars and fora especially on the environment. Even the net has no escape for I always find time browsing the pages of nature-friendly sites and NGO’s to be updated. At one occasion, an authority in the academe was speaking on “Re-thinking Sustainable Development” as topic. Towards the end, a question was raised on why there was a need to re-think. To my mind, it also posed a big question mark as it implied much on one’s intellectual preference and position. The speaker responded that inspite of the efforts from concerned entities; the government really has the take on the matter particularly in policy making and enforcement, and that we would always undergo rethinking if the government won’t opt to address such concern.
Given this scenario, one might ask on what the government is standing for, or are they simply shortsighted at that? While for most of us, are we that helpless that we can’t do some initiatives for her while taking part in the nation’s development. Though culturally, it’s a fact that many still submit to the premise of leadership by example, that without the leader acting, the members follow too. And if this is so, then I think we better find extra- territory somewhere else.
Meanwhile, it is saddening to note that for centuries now, many countries succumbed to the vagueness of development which is exclusively focused at economic progress. I’m neither a neo-traditionalist nor anti- development per se, as long as we drive sideways in two-way traffic. We all know that every economy capitalizes on natural resources, and so it is morally upright for development initiatives to meet halfway with environmental protection. Sustainable development that is! Others may contend that humans have the dominion over the physical environment and other life forms, allowing them to introduce modification and subsequently exploiting it. Still, it is no good precedent if we borrow something and not returning it back. Remember the legend of Maria Makiling!
As one song goes,” ’di na masama ang pag-unlad dahil malayo-layo na rin ang ating narating”. Yes, we might have moved a step higher, but how far Mother Earth can go? How long could she survive?
This is now the point of conflict, and the bottom line of these all lies in balancing of interest off our policy makers. This is not a chicken and egg dilemma on which comes first, rather a question of priorities on what not and what should be in government initiatives, and they must always secure a room for Mother Nature: that in development efforts, she will be treated considerately and fairly as one sustains the other . We might have a collection of laws devoted to the environment but delinquencies in the concerned agencies and weak enforcement allows minimal bite to trespassers.
And so I believe that there is really a need for redirection of the government’s environmental agenda through comprehensive implementation and monitoring, and doing so needs some amount of political will and commitment. While for us, the primary beneficiaries, responsible consumption and cleaner production isn’t really a hard task to do even in our own small ways.
This is my advocacy and I’m optimistic that in one way or another I could take part in securing the future of the next generation, now. I’m looking forward to minor in environmental science next semester and hopefully land on a job in the same sector three years from now.
*Turn Write.

Da Vinci Code: assault,deterrent, blasphemy, etc...

At the height of the controversy hounding the 'The Da Vinci Code' world premier yesterday, mixed reactions were heard. In the Philippines, the MTRCB gave the fiction-film a Restricted rating, the only country to gave such among the 36 countries which underwent a review. I could only speculate to what end the move may serve (nagpapalakas cguro sa CBCP, regarding Cha-Cha! or somethin else).

As with its early stand, the CBCP maintained a fair disposition as it did not prohibited Filipino Catholics to see the film, but did not also encouraged them to watch. Pretty safe for the Church, since our Bishops were also careful of what the intellectuals, the democrats, and the liberals may say, withstanding the fact that this does not cater to the poor Catholic majority, isn't it. Hence, views on the film, as to whether it will be ban or not, boils down to personal point of views.

As a practicing (not for a year now) Catholic, I do agree that the film is a work of art and it's fiction as Dan Brown claims, and disclaims in the book, but accounts on the book are based on real people,events, dates, etc. How could one claims that it is pure fiction (imaginary, or coincidence, or meant!)?..better, half-truth, but I say it's ,misleading, notwithstanding the intellect of Christian faithfuls. Brown even dragged the name of Opus Dei, and it seemed to me, upon hearing some members of the prelate, has been maligned or negatively portrayed.
Second, I find it blasphemous, basing on the second commandment which is "thou shall not take the name of the Lord, thy God in vain"...Do I need to elaborate?..unless you haven't read the book or watch the film!

Thirdly, I'm afraid that this would serve as a deterrent for other film-makers, who has personal interest in whatsoever in the future, whether to attack something or someone, and who would makes use of films to reach such ends, hiding behind the genre of fiction, art, and self-expression (try to have a review of Brown's profile).

Finally, under the Revised Penal Code, it provides that it is 'a crime to offend a religion', the basis of Manila's banning resolution. Moreover, try to consider this, what if I make a film, a play, a book whatsover depicting GMA (to have an affair), or Rizal (a gay), or Martin Luther (a thief), or a relative of yours (a prostitute), and I would disclaim that it's only a product of my imagination, would that concern you? If not, then I bet, that this will really be a deterrent for future films, and I could foretell the birth of the 'masquerade genre' in film making, as it does in politics.

This is pure attack on our faith as Christians, even for Moslems, and every believer of Christ. We do not deserve this challenge, as Christ do not deserve the blasphemy Brown commited. Just as we pray to defy evil, we should also fight the mundane evils with equal earthly actions and moves.

Da Vinci Code: assault,deterrent, blasphemy, etc...
At the height of the controversy hounding the 'The Da Vinci Code' world premier yesterday, mixed reactions were heard. In the Philippines, the MTRCB gave the fiction-film a Restricted rating, the only country to gave such among the 36 countries which underwent a review. I could only speculate to what end the move may serve (nagpapalakas cguro sa CBCP, regarding Cha-Cha! or somethin else).

As with its early stand, the CBCP maintained a fair disposition as it did not prohibited Filipino Catholics to see the film, but did not also encouraged them to watch. Pretty safe for the Church, since our Bishops were also careful of what the intellectuals, the democrats, and the liberals may say, withstanding the fact that this does not cater to the poor Catholic majority, isn't it. Hence, views on the film, as to whether it will be ban or not, boils down to personal point of views.

As a practicing (not for a year now) Catholic, I do agree that the film is a work of art and it's fiction as Dan Brown claims, and disclaims in the book, but accounts on the book are based on real people,events, dates, etc. How could one claims that it is pure fiction (imaginary, or coincidence, or meant!)?..better, half-truth, but I say it's ,misleading, notwithstanding the intellect of Christian faithfuls. Brown even dragged the name of Opus Dei, and it seemed to me, upon hearing some members of the prelate, has been maligned or negatively portrayed.
Second, I find it blasphemous, basing on the second commandment which is "thou shall not take the name of the Lord, thy God in vain"...Do I need to elaborate?..unless you haven't read the book or watch the film!

Thirdly, I'm afraid that this would serve as a deterrent for other film-makers, who has personal interest in whatsoever in the future, whether to attack something or someone, and who would makes use of films to reach such ends, hiding behind the genre of fiction, art, and self-expression (try to have a review of Brown's profile).

Finally, under the Revised Penal Code, it provides that it is 'a crime to offend a religion', the basis of Manila's banning resolution. Moreover, try to consider this, what if I make a film, a play, a book whatsover depicting GMA (to have an affair), or Rizal (a gay), or Martin Luther (a thief), or a relative of yours (a prostitute), and I would disclaim that it's only a product of my imagination, would that concern you? If not, then I bet, that this will really be a deterrent for future films, and I could foretell the birth of the 'masquerade genre' in film making, as it does in politics.

This is pure attack on our faith as Christians, even for Moslems, and every believer of Christ. We do not deserve this challenge, as Christ do not deserve the blasphemy Brown commited. Just as we pray to defy evil, we should also fight the mundane evils with equal earthly actions and moves.

*views expressed may have change through time; this posting is for recording purposes only
*reposted

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Hopelessness.Denial. and Curses in Love

No thanks.Don't bother.Im alright.That is me when I get down.In many circumstances and times.I learned to accept my fate.Even before.I should because Ive been to losing, being maligned, and stuffs.But I cannot bear this one. Im not simply used of being rejected.Im not sensitive. But am emotional.If feeling is at stake,man be careful.Thats actually what happened.Maybe.This is petty.Or im pityful.You might think im just too involved or reactive.But im serious...okay.This is an old story of rejection or preemptive action.Again, this involves the heart.It was this 'name who appeared to be a song' that brought this frustrations and hurtings.This is the first time I am involved with serious affection.Time will judge if it is love or a short time obssession.Maybe. Because we've been together all these times.At least for this year.And that, unkowingly, she invested enough time and charm to caught me in desperation of loving or liking her.One thing's sure.Im fallin for her.I heard many voices as I went sleeping.They were as if good night nightmares.A beautiful one.Which later proved to be real nightMARE.I have no choice but to give up reasons and logic left in my psyche.That time,im ready.Not for the worse however.Yes, im just finding for the right time, if there any.Try no harm.Try no harm.Im about doing it.But for God sake.Who the hell this evil is who infiltrated my fate.You dream catcher. You thief.You have taken me my heart.Why in the world.You keep me dumb without even saying a word.Gods!You allowed a faithful son of yours to bear such pain of presumption.Of hindering reasons.Of repressing expression...Im pretty sad.Im hopeless.But as much the pain, I learn to let go of the feeling.In fact.I cursed them in my dreams.You fool gods!!!You who brought me to disillusionment.You will pay the price.I pray. And Amen!

*to you who bears a name.tou who sing my song.
*reposted from in_my_solitude

A LIBERAL FILIPINO

adapted from Edge Genciagan

The distinction between activism and mediocrity among Filipinos seemed to be barely apparent. Students and pressure groups among others consistently pursue in their progressive stance over various issues that concerns them, while the mediocres tend to act similarly but in the long run, they simply vanish outrightly and comes back when petty issues calls for them.
This description best serves my view in distinguishing a Filipino. Radical it maybe, but this angle reflects a reality in the four corners of Philippine society. Unlike our national experience during martial law, peoples approach in nationhood has evolved dramatically in aid of democracy, hence, in this era of globalization and popular culture, public opinion is a critical factor in determining stability in the country.
To this regard, the intent and freewill of every Filipino is a valuable aspect to reconsider and or be imparted to everyone knowing that our decisions at present will tell of our future as a nation. Our bureaucratic agenda on the other hand gives us only the direction and the hint when to start, because more than that, its the Filipinos that are in control (unless if you're infected by apathy), and so from a cultural perspective, I propose these qualitative assumptions expected of a Filipino to qualify him as a true liberal individual.
A liberal Filipino is virtuous. He accounts for many values essential for his existence. He believes that true change emanates from one's self, and that constructive self criticism is an effective way of evaluating his personality. He is inclined in improving his life and is committed to collaborate in community development efforts, while maintaining humility. He subscribes in the sense of responsibility, where his actions speaks of himself and would reflect that of the society.
A liberal Filipino is conservative. Many ascribed this quality in a literal manner, but more than that, conservatism transcends convention; it is subjective. A liberal Filipino respect the popular culture but he observes maximum tolerance to the advantage of our own. It is undeniable that our modern society has largely been invaded by foreign culture , lest, if we continue to be deviant, we might lost our identity as well.
A liberal Filipino is nationalist. He may be thinking globally, but he acts locally. He views himself as an organ in a system, that every single action he makes may be futile, but it is crucial to do them. In simple ways, he expresses his love of nation. He actively participate in political activities, he's in support of the legitimate status quo and abides by the law of the land.
A liberal Filipino is pragmatic. First hand, he sets a clear and feasible goals. He find ways to attain them, applying the basics of resourcefulness and creativity. When problem arises, he confronts them vis-a-vis, not minding the hardships that it takes. He is result-oriented and thinks of the greater good for the greater number of people.
Finally, a liberal Filipino is a leader. He does not limit himself to his own capability. He tries to reach out and share what he have, may it be materially or in ideal form. In arguments, he takes courage to say no when everyone else says yes. More so, he is in control of himself and subscribes to democratic processes.
The above mentioned qualities may be too utopic or simply another suntok sa buwan(futile), but it is important that in one way or another we invest on them and apply it to our own. On the other hand, I can proudly claim that the Filipinos has already proven a lot out of these values. In the meantime, now is the high time to conquer our fears and doubts. We must learn to fight for what is right and stand by it broadly until we expire. After all, it is our basic legal and ecclesiastical right to be free, so why not make the most out of it.

*reposted from in_my_solitude blog

Mixed Nuts

In times of despair, we always seemed to seek for someone to turn to, to talk to, and to spend time with. It may be God, an intimate friend, a brother, sister, parents, counselor…the likes..these are cliches of life, in problem. We call for a helping hand, to shower us with comfort, and strength and bring back to our original state. To a world of stability and balance, of our actions and plans in every day, and the days ahead. In doing so, we expect a breakthrough, a miracle for that matter to light upon us, and see for ourselves, for real that there’s always hope, in a ruthless, unfair, andn rotten world of ours. When I was a child, I used to cry for food from that cresent-shaped thing in the sky. Later, they taught that was the moon. As it resembles the shape of a local bread. Crazy, fooly kid I was then. Believing in such a fantasy of absolute impossibility. But what if, the moon could actually give us food, for any reason. Bruhaha, hard-headed bratt. I really never learned from those times. As much as I’ve want to be faithful with my childhood, I can afford no more. For this world is full of impositions. Overpouring with mundane motives. And trickery is prevalent. No doubt, there is really no absolute truth and constancy in this worl for the few.To the very least, I wanted to believe so (that the moon could [provide food for us), in the second life maybe. But again, that is false hope. Everytime we act in such a way that we appeal for pitty, our dignity seemed to depreciate- upon society’s dictate. But the irony is clear, the society itself allows us to act that way. This leads us to desperation. Nothing to run to, or even hide to and get rot. In either direction, we can’t really advance. But as a dictated hero of fun once pronounced, that “even the hole of a needle, he shall pass through it” . Although I seemed I am inconsistent, but let me apologize. Inconsistency, like truth is not absolute, albeit relative. There are times when you get to a situation where you have to hid the truth, incosistently telling a lie. Besides, I find it equally justified to be incosistent in a world of inconsistencies. Resorting to deviant acts entails enough strenght and courage. In law, we call them extra-constitutional moves. But one is clear, we do not either lean on the imperfections of the law of the land, much more to the law of nature. We only play with them. To be continued…

*reposted from in_my_solitude friendster blog

inefficiencies,et al sabotahe: a narrative

attention:
there is something wrong in the way the Civil Service Commission [specifically for Region IV-A] works on the release of eligibility certificates. i just cant accept the fact that I would be referred to sta cruz, laguna (about 3 hours away from manila) to get that precious piece of paper when i can get it only a jeepney ride away. the scenario was/is: i filed my application last june at CSC-RegIV-A, Panay Ave, QC; took the exam last july 22 in Calamba City; knew the result from CSC website (in September)..yeheyy pasado ako; supposedly get the certificate last october 30 at QC, only to find out that it was forwarded to Sta Cruz.Huhh!..As per advice by a personnel, I submit to their arrangement (for me to call back to their office and request for their field personnel to bring back my file by the end of the month), after almost 3 weeks, I made a called the Panay office today. Another personnel attended to my request but he insisted-- for me to file for a new copy of the certificate, for certain amount. with agitation,i asserted that in the first place,it wasnt my fault to get the certificate at a later date. after all,there was no rule saying that there's a deadline. secondly, there was no advice where to get the certificate-- i was holding on the assumption that since i filed with the panay office and confirmed my result there, then most likely i would get the certificate there. unfortunately though, this another personnel countered that i am also liable for it since i change residence. well excuse him for that assumption,but actually,im always in laguna on weekends,but im working on weekdays here in QC. besides, as per advisory, certificates will be claimed from CSCRO concerned,which is the panay office. i just followed their advise, and here i am,bearing the brunt of their inefficiencies...ergo,sabotaging my job applications. now, CSC explain.
PS: i didnt take the option of filing for another copy [regardless of any standing SOP] because it spoils the very idea of efficiency in service. i call it (Spoiled Operating Procedure)